Let’s see. Where to start? I finally got my divorce finalized, my then wife went to prison (still there) I changed my bankruptcy from 13 to 7, I moved, have been taking care of both girls and just basically trying to survive and make the most of the situation.

So here is now how my week is.

Wake up at 6:00 and go wake up my oldest. She’s 12 and in 6th grade. I get her breakfast and while she is eating, I either start reports for work then get ready or, just start getting ready and start my reports later.

After she eats breakfast, she gets ready for school. right before I take her to the bus stop, I wake up my youngest (8) and get her breakfast. I then take the 12 year old to the bus stop around the corner while my 8 year old eats and watches TV. Max time I am gone (2 minutes).

When I get back, I fix myself something to eat for breakfast and clean up from the morning. I also take this time to try to encourage the 8 year old to eat breakfast instead of just watching TV. around 7:30, I take my youngest to school and then head to work (47 miles).

I normally arrive to work around 8:30 and go up and log in then start my reports while we go downstairs to smoke. I come back up and do all my reports and other job duties until around 1:45, skipping lunch. I then make the hour drive to my youngest daughters’ school to pick her up around 3:00. Then it’s to the house to get her started on her homework while I wait for my oldest to be dropped off at the bus stop. On Mondays, I have to go pick her up after choir practice.

Then we get to do housework and homework until basketball practice. We have practice on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays after practice, I get to take the girls to visit their mother in the county detention center. then I get to come home, get the girls dinner going while they take their bath/shower and get ready for bed. Around 9:30pm, their mother calls to speak to them for about 20 minutes as I am cleaning up from dinner. after that call, they brush their teeth and go to bed. That’s when I get to stop for a sec. Normally I watch the news through the weather and go to sleep.

Thursdays are different since we have no practice. On these days, I can actually start the laundry when I get home and make a decent meal. Saturday’s are for basketball games (both girls sometimes at the same time in different locations) then on Sunday, I finish the laundry and any other housework that didn’t get completed through the week. Oh yeah, on the weekends, holidays, non school days, I do all of my reporting for work from home. I have not missed completing my reports any day for almost 10 years. It’s habitual now.

So, that gives a little insight into what my daily life is like now. I would LOVE to still post these as often as I want but the truth is, I am completely worn out by the time I have a minute to rest and I normally fall asleep almost right away.

My tattoo sleeve is not complete, there are other things that I want to do that I haven’t completed because of lack of time and/or money. I have resolved to complete my sleeve this year! I am making time for that one way or another.

There are a few other things going during this past year too. I have no time for anything else so.. pretty much just making sure my kids are well taken care of and the roof over their heads is maintained. Cut and Dry.

Hope to post more pics soon as I really enjoyed it. Almost like therapy. I will post again. Yes, I will!

Here ‘s the basics of the issue: Married for almost 15 years, 2 kids, now separated and living the single bachelors life for about 6 months. Doesn’t like to be alone and legally is still married.

I did fall in love. We were together (off and on) for about a month. Off and on, because we would be together for a week or so, have a great time, grow close, then all of a sudden, her mind would change. Then after about a week, we would talk again, the feelings would rekindle, and the whole thing would recycle again. During our on times, she would tell me she loved me, tell me the things that she loved about me, etc… During our off times, it would be that she wasn’t attracted to me, she didn’t like how she treated me

Here is where I start ranting! First of all, how in the hell do you fall in love in only 1 month? I know it can be done and there are marriages that have lasted a long time from these types of beginnings however, there are a lot more failures than there are successes. Secondly, I don’t think anyone has ever talked to you about “the Rebound”. For those of you new to life, “the Rebound” is the very next person you are with. It’s not a long term thing. It’s just a breaker, if you will. Something to get you started and over the last. NO ONE wants to be “the Rebound”! NO ONE wants to be with “the Rebound”! Plain and simple! If there were another way to describe it, I would lean towards the following:

Let’s say you are a river that has a dam holding you back. You get the occasional outflow and you are happy. The systems are all good and all of the sudden, the crew quits. You don’t have anyone to help you get your occasional outflow and are starting to swell. Then you find a new crew that you know nothing about but they look nice and can perform! They open the values a little and you start flowing again. Each time the valves are open a bit more and more! You are happy again!!!

Can you honestly say that after almost 15 years of marriage, 6 months of separation and 1 month of off and on “dating” you are in love with the new crew? There is NO WAY!!

Dude, as a friend and as a guy, I am telling you this with the upmost respect and sincerity! You need to get out and play the field! I’m not saying go out and be a total slutty guy and bang everyone you meet. I am saying, go out! Have fun! Be alone! Find yourself! You need to be happy with yourself before you “fall in love” with the first or second piece of tail you come in contact with. And I’m not sure the places you are going are going to get you the companionship you are searching for. You don’t have to become a monk. You are not being told you have to stay alone for the rest of your life. I know we aren’t getting any younger but man, you have got to get out and have fun. And having fun doesn’t have to involve picking up anyone! It can be just going and playing a round of golf with your buddies. Going to get a new tattoo! Going to a baseball game! Going fishing! You know, hanging out!

In the years I have known you, I have not one time heard of you just having a “guys day / night” to where you just went out with some friends and had fun. Bowling. Road Trip to a Casino. Going to the local racetrack. Hanging out and getting a few drinks. These are some of the things you could do! But what do you do? This is NOT “Cheers” and you don’t have to go somewhere that everyone knows your name! Get out! Experience life! Experience being you! Yes, you can still be you but, there is no need to RUSH into anything! You may feel like doing it because that’s what you’ve known for so long! You yearn for that companionship! You yearn for someone to be there all the time! STOP!

Be your own man! Be your own friend! DON’T go up into the ‘Bell Tower’ and start a shooting spree! But just hang! Who knows? Maybe you will realize and come to find that you really don’t need that companionship like you thought. Maybe you’re just bored all the time!

Here’s a little story you might enjoy: There once was a man from Nantucket…. (crap! I can’t use that one.) It reminds me of the line in “Colors” where the two cops were talking and the older one tell the story of the two bulls. You know the story. Baby bull and daddy bull were standing on a hill overlooking a herd of cows. The baby bull says to daddy bull, “Hey, let’s run down there and fuck one of those cows.” The daddy bull says, “No son. Let’s walk down….. and fuck them all!”

It seems to me, you are rushing yourself into finding anyone to be with that you are overlooking the big picture. If you would take a few steps at a time, you would be able to have everything you want and more! You are a great guy with a lot to offer any woman but, by being in a rush, you are not letting anyone get to know the real you and I’m afraid that you are currently looking for a “right now” relationship rather than a “lifetime” one.

No one is asking you to change WHO you are! No one said, put on a front! No one said to not be yourself! I honestly think if you were to take some time and reflect on yourself and get to know you, you will find that the you currently being portrayed is not the real you either! The real you is a caring, loving, funny, great individual and any woman that finds herself with you, should consider herself lucky! Just take the time to let the past become the past before you try to overlap times. You had a longer marriage than most would ever dream of. You have kids that are your world! You have over a decade of “Mr. and Mrs.” that you need to let go of! Be independent! Be fresh! Be You! Because in the end, if you are not true to yourself and happy with who and what you are, no one else will be either.

There will be some that disagree with a lot of what I said! That’s because they allow themselves to be run over by either their true selves or a woman. Deny it all you want but it’s true. I’ve been there! Done that!
As the song by Bowling For Soup goes, “I’m trying to say I love you, in a heterosexual way.”

Enough for the sappiness! next blog….. porn!!!!

Part of this new life was me doing something I have always wanted to do. For the longest time, I have wanted to get my arm sleeved but just have been looking for the right person to do it and the right theme. Well, Saturday night, I made a trip out to Psycho Clown Tattoo. I was there as a support for my neighbor and his wife and with my soon be to be ex as she was getting some touch up work done. While i was looking around at everything, Jarrod came out. I asked him what was going on and he replied and asked me if there was anything I was looking to get. My first response was “No. I’m just looking around and waiting for a friend.” and then it hit me.

As you may know, Jarrod is the husband of my last tattoo artist. The PornStar Tattoo Artist ADRENALYNN. Well she was mentored by her husband Jarrod and I had seen some of the tatt’s that he had done for her. I mentioned one in particular and he got kind of excited. He showed me an idea that he had for what I wanted. I agreed and we went to his chair to get started.

Now, I have not actually sat down and had a conversation with Jarrod before but, I am a HUGE fan of his tattoo’s and his other projects, like APATHY INTERNATIONAL. he has a fantastic mind and a definite head for the business. As I sat in the chair getting prepped for ink, I struck up a conversation with him about my original idea for a sleeve. He told me all about his “love” for this particular piece that I was getting. Turns out, he’s a fan of it too. HUGE FAN! So, as we talked more and more about it, he tells me he has a lot of ideas that he wanted to put on his wife but her arm was not big enough (She is a petite woman) that would fit perfectly on my arm. “WHAT???” was the response I gave. He went over several ideas he had for a sleeve with this particular theme in mind and I was in awe!! That was exactly what I was needing. A tattoo artist to sit down with me and discuss options and visions and then make recommendations. He knew exactly what I wanted to do and was more than willing to do it.

So, he starts on the my tattoo and I just sat there watching. He is a true artist! If memory serves me correct, he has been tattooing for over 15 years and I promise you, you can tell the difference. He had techniques that few have. It helps when you are getting a tattoo if the artist doing the work believes in it too. And since was a huge fan of this particular piece, he was delighted to be doing it.

I agreed that I would be his canvass for the arm sleeve and whatever else he wanted to do with this theme. We made a verbal arrangement and I plan on sticking to it. So now that the initial piece is done, I will make my appointment in 2 1/2 to 3 weeks to go in and get started on the next phase. I cannot wait. I actually have been daydreaming and real dreaming about how I picture it looking after it’s all said and done. I know Jarrod’s vision is probably MUCH clearer and better than what I see but, if his initial piece he did for me is any indication, It’s gonna be everything either of us hoped for.

I am not sharing any pics of this right now. Maybe once there is more to it I will. Right now, I want it to like a new car that’s coming. You can hear all about it but, you won’t see it until it is unveiled!

So Jarrod, if you ever read this, like I told you while sitting in your chair, I have plenty of blank canvass for you to use and I hope that you will take me up on that offer.

I have not been this excited about something in a very long time! Maybe THIS is my mid life crisis but, I know that this is something I have wanted for a very long time and I am finally taking the steps to make sure it comes to fruition!

And as for my friends, my soon to be ex got a “Thumper” on her left shoulder, my neighbor got his tattoo cherry popped and got one of THE BEST crosses I have ever seen on his right upper arm, and his wife got a butterfly on her right shoulder.
Here is a pic of his:

Neighbors First Tattoo

And here are the PRON pics:

Layed Back

Licked

Spread

Thick

Water

Bed

WOW

Stockings

Ink

Free

Beached

Red Cross

Shade

Beautiful Tits

Candle

Oiled Delight

Perky

Beat Me

BTW… I got tickets to The Cotton Bowl and I AM going even though I don’t care for either team! I guess I’ll have to cheer for the BIG XII team, Oklahoma State, even though I’m a SOONER!!!

Enjoy!

Good

Direct Hit

Ready

Choker

Ho Ho Ho

On Tap

Dripping

Window

Boots

Smile

Housekeeping

Ring

Gwen

Look

Bent

Pink

Soaped

Profile

Spread

Invitation

Cold Ocean

White Wedding

Perfection

I'd be a MAC too

Eating

Any decent tattoo artist could have done it. It really isn’t a difficult piece! I knew that but, I wanted someone special to do this for me. I found her via Twitter and knew right away she was the one to do it. Yes.. S H E!

People who have been reading, or who have read, know the name! I have made blogged about going out to meet her. I have blogged about her. ADRENALYNN! She owns Adrenalynn INKorporated Tattoo.

Adrenalynn

Friday night, I get ready to drive the 62 miles to go to her shop! Long drive? YES! Worth it? YES!! Along the way, I had some killer tunes jamming and I was getting excited.

Pantera Tuneage

Cruising along and about an hour later, I pull up in front of the shop.

Shop

I then post a Tweet to my twitter:

Tada!!!! I’m going in……. After a cigarette!
9:18 PM Dec 4th from TwitterBerry

I walk in and tell the guy working that I am here to see Adrenalynn. He knew I was coming! He tells me that she’ll be right out. I spend a few minutes looking around at her shop. This is the first time I’ve been in here for more than 3 minutes. I few minutes pass and I hear her asking if part of the tattoo was needed? As I turn around, she’s right there! I am speechless and giddy and a few other words that describe me being a complete goof who can’t move! I almost felt like being on that very first date with the one girl you REALLY wanted to impress! Yeah! It was like that!

After talking about the tattoo and getting my tongue out of the knot it was in, she tells me I can come back to her office if I want. Do I want to? HELL YEAH! Did I? Hell Yeah… after falling off the stool and picking myself up off the floor. (I don’t think she saw it. WHEW!)

When I make my way to her office, I see that she is hard at work on my tattoo stencil! In all her ‘Nerdiness’!

Adrenalynn prepares

As she is doing this, I am pulling the same “I wanna make love to a schoolboy” thing as I did when we last met! I couldn’t make 2 sentences that made sense. I was rambling from one topic to another. I was a complete mess! What can I say? I was nervous! Not because of the tattoo I was getting. Because I was sitting there with Adrenalynn! T H E Adrenalynn! The *Pornstar Tattoo Artist!!! Do you hear what I am saying?? I was finally able to relax and mellow myself by stepping out to have a cigarette. “Come on man! Get your shit together!!!” I kept telling myself!

After making a few revisions to the stencil, now we were ready for the actual tattooing part. She moved a chair over as I decided where the tattoo was going and then I hear the words “Come over here so I can shave you.” HUH? What? I knew what she meant but it was totally awesome to hear that phrase spoken from her! I was smiling devilishly! I think she knew what immediately went through my mind but…. I was trying to be good! I layed on the chair that she layed out for me, lifted my pant leg and she did her thing. I had to make mention that I was not as flexible as she was so me being in a position like this was a little bit of a struggle. Again, I turned into a young giggly schoolgirl at the first boy/girl dance. The stencil was on, I took a look, she took a look, we agreed that we like the placement. I sent a tweet:

Getting ready to have @adrenalynntoao tattoo me! WOO HOO! Putting stencil on!
11:24 PM Dec 4th from TwitterBerry

Right before she started, she took her little hoodie off and she was wearing a red tank top! OMG!!! H O T!!!! Now she’s working.

Adrenalynn Tattooing

I had my other leg tattooed before and I fell asleep during. There was NO WAY I was falling asleep while SHE was tattooing me. I was perfectly fine watching her work. She was in her element and I was just glad to be a part! She kept asking me if I was ok or if I was falling asleep yet. NOPE! Not this time.

Adrenalynn Tattooing 2

Adrenalynn Tattooing 3

Before I continue, I will apologize now. Some of the stuff that we discussed and such will remain between us. Nothing sexual. Nothing inappropriate. Just doesn’t need to be discussed outside of the person to person zone and that’s the way it is. Sorry if you disagree or won’t understand.

I told her that I was going to be blogging about this. She was cool with it and then she gave me this face as I was taking pictures in the mirrored reflection:

Adrenalynn Tattoo Face

I laughed!! She went right back to work! At one point I told her “If my leg starts to raise up, I apologize but your boobs are laying on my leg.” She giggled and said she wasn’t even thinking about that and she was sorry! SORRY??? FOR WHAT?? I am enjoying it. he he he.

Adrenalynn Tattooing 5

Adrenalynn Tattooing 6

Adrenalynn Tattooing 7

Adrenalynn Tattooing 8

We did take a break in between. I had to use the restroom and she wanted to let her hands dry from being in the gloves. I decided to partake in the smoke during that time and went back in to finish up. Between the pictures, there was just talking, her asking if I was asleep and me asking her if she was OK! We were good.

Adrenalynn Wiping Down

As she finished, I stretched, looked in the mirror, smiled and told her she was awesome. I asked if she was OK again and she said she was. What she did on my tattoo was exactly what I wanted to gain the closure discussed earlier and she even added to that with you own ideas.

Round 1

I think there are a few more things to do to it before I can call it complete but this is the start needed!

To Adrenalynn (if you read this): Thank you very much for helping me gain closure! You were every part of this as the idea itself. I am so thankful that you took the time out of your VERY busy schedule to fit this in! I apologize that it took so long! I <3 you for your openness and friendability!! (just made that up) – THANK YOU!

I will be going back to have MUCH more inking done! She asked me to do this before she went on a much needed and deserved vacation with her other half! I hope you have a great time and I hope you get some rest and try not to think of things back in "life".

So that was my Adrenalynn tattoo experience in a wrapped up shell! Again, not everything needed to be blogged. Not everything will be blogged. It was just finally great to get it done. The only thing I didn't get was a pic of her and I together. Maybe next time? At the end of the night, I think I was finally able to contribute to some of the conversation and not appear to be a big ass dork! At least I hope so!

No pron pics today! They will be back soon though! THAT'S A PROMISE!

Adrenalynn

The words “It’s Over!” carried through the house! I told her that we should separate! The insecurities and the accusations have finally overflowed! I am not going to live with and be married to someone that doesn’t trust me, doesn’t believe me and I damn sure have no trust or belief in anything she tells me. She says she loves me but yet in the same breath tells me that I am cheating on her and I am not telling her the truth!

I have devoted 14 years to this woman. 2 years of asking her to go out with me. almost 12 years of marriage. Not once did I stray! Not once did I do anything to break any trust or the ability to believe what I say! Yes! I said I think it would be a good idea to separate! Her comeback: “I’m not gonna comeback to you after you go out and have your fun and screw around.” WTF??? In my mind, a separation was a chance for both parties to be away from each other so they could think about things. Life. Marriage. What they wanted. Etc. Apparently I was wrong. Apparently (according to her) it a chance for me to go out a screw around and not feel guilty!

This choice was not one that was easy to be made. This choice was a difficult choice because of my 2 girls (7 and 11). I have always had the interest of my kids at heart. I don’t care what happens to me, as long as they are not hurt or effected. They need to be happy. Although in a time like this, it’s a little harder but all I can do is try to make it easier and listen and talk to them. This is not a easy time for them. It sucked for my brother and I when my parents went through it. I can understand what and how and all the feelings that come along with it. I just want to be there for them!

So my marriage is all but over. She is staying through the holidays and then she is out! She keeps at me about everything! I am starting over too! I am keeping the house that I have been paying for by myself for the past 3 years! I am keeping my car! The only other thing I would argue would be the TV and my PS3. Come on! The kids are already a given!

She can whatever else she wants to take. beds, furniture, etc. She keeps telling me, “This is what you want.” I don’t ever recall uttering the words divorce! My words were separate! She took the next route and then tells me, “I will not be keeping your name, I will go back to my maiden and I am going to be filing bankruptcy I can put the car on there so if anything happens they cannot touch it. My credit sucks, I have nothing but the girls and I will be starting from scratch.”

So what am to come back with? Good Luck?? I dunno. My first marriage, my wife left in the middle of the day after almost 1 year of marriage. She wanted to go back to being a whore! Yes, I was crushed! Yes, I cried for weeks! I eventually got over it and moved on! This marriage is ending after 11 (almost 12) years! Will I be crushed? I don’t think so. I think I am almost ready for it to happen and be over with. It’s not even worth me doing anything else to even try. The trust is gone. The love is gone. The disgust is here. From BOTH sides.

I will keep on. I will be here! I will be happy again!

Hopefully I won’t feel the need to post anymore about this subject. That’s another reason for the title! next will be more uplifting, positive, happy posts!!!!

And P L E N T Y of pics!!!!

Full

Chained

Slide Over

Joanna Krupa

Sabine Marie Schmid

Red

Strip

Rodeo

Boobs

White

Pirate Ship

Lift with the legs

Ice Cubes

Make Me a Pie

In the Library

Class

Chocolate

On the Beach

Heat

TERA PATRICK

My biggest concern is the well being of my daughters! No matter what happens! They are going to be a focus! Plain and simple. They may not understand what is going on right now, and they may not like the outcome but, I say this with thier best interests in mind. The hurt and hatred that I feel towards my spousal unit is only towards her! I need to somehow make my kids understand that I am not agry with them. They are not the reason daddy is not talking to mommy! It breaks my heart that they have to go through the same thing that me and my brother had to go through at around the same age.

What to do? I heard an analogy earlier that pretty much put everything into prespective for me and I would like to share it!

When you take a shower and the water is warm / hot, you want to stay in. When the water starts getting cold, you wanna get out!”

That pretty much sumed it up for me and it made alot of sense! We have both stated that neither one of us trust the other one. So when the trust has been destroyed and the lies are becoming apparent, do you call it?? The water has definately gotten cold! There is no turning the dial to get more hot water! It is all gone! The gas has been turned off to the hot water heater!!! Quit??

Or do you stick it out for the kids? I would rather be apart and happy than together and miserable. I think that the kids would see it as a better option once the separation takes place. They will see a happier daddy. They will see a happier mommy! Just not together! That’s the suck part.

So that’s what’s going on! I am not abandoning you! I just have A LOT of things going on right now! I will be posting but I don’t know if it will be an everyday thing! And again, I apologize!!!

Here are the pics!!

Interview

Cold Water

Wifey

Spread

Dreams are of

Please happen

Taken

Pole

Blindfolded

Picasso

From Behind

GREAT ASS

Self Love

Flashed

Limo

Oh Yeah

Bzzzzz

Lick It

Whip Me!

Veil

Shadows

Butt

Arched

Slide 'em In

Maid

Assist

Champagne

1 in each

69

AIM

View

Hotness

Juggs

Take it

Wiener and Wine

Alone Time

Stream

I have been married for 11 years! In April, it will be 12. Somehow, I don’t think that will come to pass! What?? Why?? Well, let me roll up my sleeves a bit and tell you what’s going down!

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that my marriage was the best marriage in the world. We both had our share of ups and downs! Happy, sad, joy, anger! We’ve seen it all! There were times that I found my interest was elsewhere! Did I EVER act on them? Absolutely not! 100% monogamous the entire marriage! Did I ever want to? Yes I did but, I NEVER did.

This has been a slow moving train coming down the tracks for quite some time if you look back at it. On our wedding day, we went to a JoP to speak our vows. Immediately after, we ate with our parents and left to go out of town because the band I was in at the time had a gig. Everything was supposed to be arranged for our (the band) stay but something happened and we ended up gettin escorted out of the house we were staying in. Oh well! The bad part of it is, on the way back about an hour or 2 outside of town, we get pulled over because the law enforcement thought we my have been drug runners and I found out the hard way that I was driving on a suspended license. Punishment = GO TO JAIL! So on our “honeymoon”, we get kicked out of the place we were staying and I get arrested! 1 year probation and fines. Nice start, huh?

Years go by and we have the same problems as most couples do. Money! Money! Money! I had a decent paying job but was not happy! I got offered a job that in high school you might have dreamed about! I was asked to be a roadie for a touring band! A good touring band! This was right after my oldest daughter had been born and I really didn’t want to go, but at the same time, I really wanted to go! After much discussion and thought, I quit my job on a Friday, drove 3 hours to meet the band that next day and was gone! I missed a lot of my oldest daughters firsts. Her first words. Her first Halloween. Her first steps. THAT SUCKED! But, I was having a great time (minus missing the family) and the money was good on top of the scenery changing daily! I was able to come home in between when the band had dead time. I did. I worked my way up from roadie to guitar tech to stage manager! I was loving it. During this time, there were many, many situations that I had to walk away from because I was married and didn’t want to disrespect myself or my spouse my sleeping around while on the road! These were almost nightly occurrences and i am proud to say I did NOT stray one single time. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t spend a lot of time alone in the bathroom rubbing a few out! THAT I did!

It was during this time that my spouse had been asked to come back to the club where we frequented to resume the bar tending duties. This was in a strip club! I did NOT like the idea of that because I knew what went on there and I had seen the “work” that was done. I reluctantly gave in because we really did need the money! It was on a Christmas break from the road that I made up my mind that I would not be returning with the band! I missed my spouse! I missed my daughter! I missed a lot of the things that were firsts for all of us and it broke my heart. I gave up something I really enjoyed and made good money at to become a dad, a father, and a husband! Do I regret it? NOT ONE BIT! For the next few months, I was called at all times of the day and night by the band asking me to “P L E A S E come back” but I had to refuse. When the band came back around, I would offer to help them by being part of the crew while in and around but for the most part, I was stay at home, 9 to 5 and I was enjoying that!

A few more years went by with us still fighting about money! We had a repossession of our vehicle that sucked but my spouse went out and did the best to get another before that showed. I was working a pawn job that sucked ass and we were living with my parents. We didn’t have much but, we didn’t really need much! We fought about the bar tending job too. I was not liking the hours and the “work” that was done! My spouse quit that for us. I had several “temp” jobs and finally landed a permanent job that was real good, and I knew about it! DA DA! Here comes daughter number 2! I was there for all of her firsts! I think me missing my oldest daughters firsts, made me feel guilty and I tried to be there for all of the 2nd’s firsts.

We had several housing situations during this time as well. We never stayed more than year or 2 in any of them. We were renting houses and apartments! BTW, apartments suck! Anyway, nothing much changed during this time. My spouse got a couple of jobs (like cashier jobs at super markets and such) and that helped with the finances. I was still at my job (and am still) and making some good money! Things are finally starting to look like they are gonna change for the better. Right?

We were living in a town-home ON THE LAKE. It was great! There was a breeze in the evening! We were directly next to the swimming pool! It was a nicer place than most of the places we had lived in! We were making friends. My family was happy….. until…. One evening we were sitting out on the patio that over looked the pool area. The season was not the right one for the pool to be open but, some of the younger people jumped the fences and sat around in there smoking, talking, cussing, etc. This one evening, there was a group of about 5 inside the pool area sitting at one of the tables closest to us. We had just finished eating and were out on the patio chillin’! One of the kids in the group down by the pool, pulls out a gun. I see this and go to usher the family into the house. I see in the reflection of the windows, the kid points it at us. I immediately turned and said something and he mumbled “Fuck you! You ain’t doing shit.” That’s all I needed to boil my anger and I went in the patio door, down the steps to the front door, walked out, around the building (we were on the corner) and directly up the the guy! We were face to face.

We both talked smack and I turned to walk off and I see the guy go for his bag. Thinking he was reaching for the gun he had, I turn and swung! Direct hit to the jaw! He falls back, hits his head on the cement and his whole body clinches. While this is going on, the girls he was with are screaming at me and hitting me on my back. I turned saw him on the ground in spasms and I take my shirt, dip it in the water and get him settled down. He did get up. Groggy! He walked off with help from his friends and I went, got my car keys and went to get some smokes! When I returned, there were 3 squad cars at my house. Apparently, the guy I hit was 15 and the gun was a B.B. gun! His parents filed charges. I ended up going to jail for assault. We eventually settled out of court with me getting 1 year probation and paying fines and my charge was reduced to that of a traffic ticket. The complex then kicked my family and I out. I was protecting myself from what I didn’t know was a B.B. Gun and we get kicked out! There are stories of cops killing people with less that didn’t get what I got.

We had to move again and this time, my spouse was able to land another job but, it almost felt like it was just being done to appease me. There were times when I was the only one working and there were times when we both worked. More often than not, I was the only one working. What the heck? We lived in a duplex and the rent was less than $800 a month. I could afford it. I actually like the time being spent with my daughters! Then my spouse decided to get another job as a part of a wait staff. Daycare started! If you are not aware, daycare is NOT a cheap expense! LOTS of money goes into that industry on a yearly basis! LOTS!!!! The spouses’ job didn’t really last long but, that didn’t stop the daycare expense! The girls were there! They liked it! They had interactions with other kids and that was a good thing. Things were getting tight around the wallet but, we were able to make it happen! I started a 2nd job working at the local raceway! You know, NASCAR. After 1 year, our same landlord had a larger duplex literally right down the street (like 7 houses down) that we wanted and we got into! AH!! More room! 3 bedroom, 2 bath! A little bit more per month but still affordable on what I was making!

After about a 1 and 1/2, we were able to afford a down payment on a brand new house in a brand new sub division being built a little further out from where we currently were. The school district was awesome, the neighborhood new and the house was brand new and ours! I busted my ass during this time to make sure all the requirements the mortgage company was asking us to do were satisfied! On the 1st of Nov, we moved in! Our very first home! Finally somewhere my kids would feel stability! My family would not have to move again! My work was doing well and one of the females that I had worked with for about 3 years was leaving. She was a buddy of mine and a few of my fellow co-workers as we all went to smoke together all the time! We’d all go have lunches together, hang out and talk all day long. I never really thought of her as anything but a friend. She was married. I was married. Then about 3 days before she left the company, she told me that she had a dream about me and it was a very naughty dream. I was intrigued! I wanted to know more so we started hanging out together without the rest of the “gang”. We texted. We e-mailed. We Instant Messaged. All flirty! Was there an opportunity? Definitely. Did I take it?? Absolutely not! She was married! I WAS married too! We just kind of left it at that. I did meet her and her husband one night after a race! It wasn’t for anything more than some drinks and to say hi! That was the last time I saw her! Several years have past since then and I still have not heard from her nor has she heard from me.

About 6 months later, my spouse went back to an old wait staff position at a previous employer. They went through an owner change and wanted someone to be the manager! My spouse got that position. Late nights again because after all the employees left and everything got cleaned, the books still had to be kept! My spouse started taking the initiative towards the new owner. Sending provocative e-mails. Things that read “I would be very good. All you would have to do is talk to me and touch me.” It came to a head when I woke one morning and no one had been home from the last night of work. I called the cell phone three or four times. Finally, an answer. “Where are you?” “Why are you yelling at me?” “I’m not yelling. Where are you?” “Down the street.” “Where ARE you?” “I’m at so & so’s (another female that worked there) apartment. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I was livid! My kids are due to get up to go to school, I have to be at work and you never came home last night!!!!

I later found out that my spouse and the owner and a few others had sat up at the bar of the restaurant and drank then decided to go over to this other girls house. My spouse got drunk, didn’t want to call me and make me mad and passed out. To this day, I still think there is more to the story! The spouse claims different! You ever have those gut feelings? Yea! I have them too still to this day! First of all, diabetic. 2ndly, doesn’t drink. 3rdly, never stayed out all night before! The facts just do not add up to me.

Needless to say, at my urging, the managers position was relinquished. I still don’t buy the story.

A year or so later without my spouse working but the bills are adding up! Our girls are getting older and are interested in a lot of things that just so happen to cost more money! Somehow, there is money coming in! How? I dunno! I mean, I have a feeling but I never ask! I take that back. I did ask once. The reply I got was sale items being bought then sold at regular cost! O…..k! I’m not buying it but, I won’t ask anymore either. The bills are getting paid! The girls are able to do the things they would like. The cars are being paid and are full of gas! The extra money is helping!

So this goes on for about a year and during this time, my spouse decides to open up a business against my better judgment. It’s not the right time and we can’t afford the rent on the shop. It doesn’t last long. Some monthslaer I get a text message from my spouse telling me that they are going to jail. I ask why and am told that one of tail lights was out and there is a warrant from an old hot check that never got cleared up! DAMNIT!!! I wait and wait and start calling around the different jail systems! Finally found! I go down to the bail bonds and am in the process of paying for release when I see at the top of the paper work “Theft under $1500″. Theft?? THEFT???

On the release, my spouse got in the car and I ask why the arrest and again I am told the hot check story! Not until we get home at 2 in the morning (with the kids in the back seat) do I get the truth after showing the paperwork. “Why were you stealing???” “I don’t know.” This line of questioning goes on several more times before I walk away in disgust and go to sleep. After all, I had to wake up in 2 hours for work! Exhausted and worn out from thinking about the jail situation, we Instant Messaged all day about it. I was hot (in a pissed way). Bail done. Bills??? Have to wait.

Less than a month later, I get another text the my spouse is in the office of the local store waiting for local law to come. “WHAT FOR???” “They want to ask me about buying items off an employee.” About 15 – 20 minutes later I get another text tell me that they are going to jail. “WHAT?? HELLO? HELLO???” So I now go back to calling around and trying to find out where and how much and etc. My spouse calls with the phone call they give you in jail. “What for now???” “I wasn’t doing anything this time. I was waiting for my medicines outside while I smoked and when I came back in, they brought me to the back.” I called MAJOR BS!!! They don’t arrest people for suspected shoplifting! “How much to get you out?” I asked. “$700????? I do not have it. Sorry!” What happens? The brother is called. My spouse if finally released and back home telling me the same story! I’m still not buying it. More money to go to bills and now I owe money to the brother-in-law. Bills?? Stacking up.

Again, less than a moth later, I get a text asking if can come home and watch my sick daughter. “Why? What’s wrong?” “The constable is here to take me in.” “WHAT??” So I go in and ask my boss if I can leave. Go take care of it, he tells me. I hauled ass home to be with my youngest daughter who is home sick from school! I called the local jail, and find out that she as arrested for writing a hot check for something, making arrangements to pay it and not following through! Result – TEFT Under $15000! I told my spouse I wasn’t coming. I got call after call after call with teary eyed, sniffling crying begs to get them out. I did (sucker = me) and told my spouse, the next time it happened, I was having divorce papers served whirl they were in jail. $500 and bills are without again!

3 months, 3 theft arrests! Unthinkable!

So now we are dealing with all of this and she starts sending me messages again the other day:
You need to be honest with me! Stop lying to me and be a man and tell me the truth!

I’m all like, what the hell are you talking about???

I have proof now and I want you to just be honest.

Again… what the fuck are you talking about???

I have an STD (herpes) and I have not been with anyone! I am so angry and humiliated. Time to be honest with me.

I have not been with anyone other than you for the past 11 years. The last person I was with was before we got together and you know who it was!!!

So tonight, to prove myself to my spouse and to anyone else, I went and and had blood drawn for all types of tests! Herpes, AIDS, Clap, and any other STD’s! I know for a fact I did not give it to you! I have NEVER had an STD! I have never been unfaithful! In order for you to have gotten it from me, we would have had to have sexual relations and we haven’t had that in quite a while!

Tell me what you would do! I basically said I was tired of the lying, stealing, manipulating and all of it! I said it was over and to get all your stuff and get out! I am not going to be called a liar and be told to “Be a man and own up to it.” when I KNOW for a fact that I have not done anything nor have I cheated. I haven’t even gotten a handjob! If I am being accused of something I did not do, shouldn’t I go ahead and do it that way there is something to the accusation?? I have thought long and hard about it! The best choice I can make right now is to prove that I am clean! I have nothing to hide. I have not been with anyone other that my spouse…. and my hand (if that counts).

I was asked if there was anyway that I could work on things to make it better for us and for our family! My response was “I don’t know.” I was also asked if I wanted to even try. I had the same response.

When the test results come back, I will update this post and let you know what happened.

If for some strange act of God, I do happen to have an STD, I will eat crow but, I am not making any plans to do so! I am, with every fiber of my being, completely clean on this one! Nothing from me and I will not back down from my innocence!

******* UPDATE ******* CLEAN AND CLEAR!!!!

Please enjoy the pics!

Red

2 pair

Splatter

MEEE OWWW

PING PING

Taste

OH YES

Educate

Stockings

Hello...ello....ello...ello

Ride it

Decisions

Rachel Starr

Angelina Valentine

NICE RACK

* Bondage & discipline (B&D)
* Domination & submission (D&S)
* Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)

Many of the specific practices in BDSM are those which, if performed in neutral or nonsexual contexts, could be considered unpleasant, undesirable or abusive. For example, while pain, physical restraint and servitude are traditionally inflicted on persons against their will and to their detriment, in BDSM, these activities are engaged in with the mutual consent of the participants, and typically for mutual enjoyment. Any “consent” may or may not amount to legal consent and represent a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused.

This emphasis on informed consent and safety is also known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer the term RACK (risk-aware consensual kink), believing that it places more emphasis on acknowledging the fact that all activities are potentially risky. There is discussion and dispute about the meaning or intent of the terms, but in essence, both terms refer to all participants acknowledging and accepting some level of risk.

* BDSM may or may not involve sex of any kind.
* BDSM may or may not involve sexual roleplaying.
* How dominant or submissive a person may be in their regular life does not necessarily indicate which role they will play in a scene. Some might opine that there is roughly an inverse relationship.
* Some BDSM players are polyandrous or sexually monogamous but engage in non-sexual play with others.
* A couple may engage in BDSM sexuality with an otherwise non-Dominant/submissive relationship dynamic.

BDSM may encompass the following practices:

* erotic spanking,
* bastinado,
* flagellation such as flogging (see cat o’ nine tails),
* whipping
* paddling,
* sensory deprivation,
* movement restriction,
* suspension,
* sensation play (i.e. the use of such objects as fur, ice, Wartenberg wheels, TENS devices, etc to induce desired sensations in the bottom),
* medical submission (i.e. a submissive partner that submits to medical procedures which may or may not be humiliating and/or painful).

BDSM activities are practised by people of all sexualities. Many practise their BDSM activities exclusively in private, and do not share their predilections with others. Others socialize with other BDSM practitioners. One relatively new phenomenon is the practice of BDSM within the MMO Red Light Center in which users of the virtual reality software make use of avatars in the fully equiped dungeon and BDSM rooms to practice the activities on other live users in a virtual way.

The BDSM community can be regarded as a subculture within mainstream society. Being involved in a local BDSM community is referred to as being “in the lifestyle.” There are BDSM communities with varying degrees of organization in all parts of the world. Large cities and small town alike have organizations where BDSM participants meet to learn, share and practice. These groups are often underground and can be hard to find, but as society becomes more and more accepting, the groups are coming out of the closet. In the United States, some of these communities have even applied for and been granted 501C status as educational and community support groups.

A 1990 Kinsey Institute report stated that 5% to 10% of Americans occasionally engage in sexual activities related to BDSM. This was based on the 1983 “Playboy Readers Sex Survey” by Walter Lowe. There has been an explosive growth in the BDSM community since the 1983 study, which raises the possibility that the 1983 figures are unrepresentative of current behavior.

Black and White

Tied Sub

Leave Me Breathless

Taking what she wants

Good Sub

Kinda Great

Boots Sub

Nena Blue

Come

Eye Contact

Dirty Secretary

Enjoy the pics!

hottub

bend over

for me?

Lil Bo Peep. Baaaaaaaa

Smoking

Ocean

Gold

Rain

Hi there

Pure Awesomeness

Insert Here

Vampire

Camping

Oh sweet mother of.....

lingerie

At the point you have found a dominant, several things should already have been discussed. You should have discussed your likes and dislikes, your fantasies, and your reasons for exploring your submission. You should also have discussed any hard limits that you may have. A hard limit is a limit in which the dominant knows upfront not to try and push you in that particular area. You should also have established a safe word which your dominant knows you will use if you want a scene to immediately stop.

At the point you have found a dominant, you should also have an idea of what kinds of dominant/submissive play he / she is interested in. There are many areas to explore in the lifestyle, and he / she may be interested in a few or in all of them. This is important for you to know in the beginning.

After the ground rules of your dominant/submissive relationship have been established, here are some scenes you will most likely encounter as a submissive:

The blindfold. The blindfold has long been associated with erotica as well as with domination/submission. There are different kinds of blindfolds. Some are thick and cushioned. Some are leather or soft plastic. Some dominants may choose to tie a scarf around your eyes. The purpose of the blindfold is twofold. First of all, removing sight enhances your other senses. Secondly, it adds an element of fear and uncertainty…which is an aphrodisiac.

Bondage. Bondage is a huge part of dominant/submissive play. Submissives enjoy the feeling of being rendered helpless as they are at the mercy of their dominant. The dominant enjoys knowing that he /she is in total control. There are many different kinds of bondage. Your dominant may use ropes, chains, handcuffs, soft wrist and ankle restraints, or spreader bars. In using those items, they may use them in different rooms or places. They may use them on the bed, chain you to the wall or a chair. They may bind your legs, your arms or your breasts. It all depends on how creative they are. *Something your dominant should never do is place you in bondage and leave you alone.This is very unsafe. If something happens and you get sick or need help, nobody will be there to assist you and you will not be able to call for help. If a dominant ever tries to place you in bondage and leave, immediately use your safe word to let them know you want the scene to stop.

Spanking or whipping. Spanking has long been an erotic fantasy of many couples. There are nerve endings in the bottom that make this a huge sexual turn on. It is also a vulnerable position that makes the submissive feel very given to her dominant. What you need to know, as a submissive, is that your dominant will most likely want to take a regular spanking to a more intense level. Some of the implements you may encounter are the hand, flogger, paddle, belt, riding crop, wooden spoon, stick, and the cane. There is also a strong possibility that your dominant will choose to whip or spank areas other than just your bottom. So be prepared.

Kneeling. Plan on kneeling…a lot. When you are in a dominant/submissive relationship, you must remember that you are not an equal to your dominant. They are in control. When you are with them, you will not be considered on the same level. You may find yourself kneeling when they enter a room, when they are relaxing, or having dinner. You may also find yourself kneeling in order to pleasure them.

Sharing. It is common for a dominant to have more than one submissive. Do not go into a dominant/submissive relationship thinking you are the only one in his life. This is an unrealistic expectation. Some dominants have a girl / boyfriend who has no interest in the lifestyle as well as a submissive on the side. Some dominants are into having several submissives. Some dominants want to have play parties where all of the submissives are there together. If this is a strict limit you have, it would bid you well to find out your dominant’s preferences before you get into a relationship with them. You may enter a dominant/submissive relationship as the only submissive in their life, only to find down the road that they want to add another submissive. Be prepared for this.

Some dominants also want to share or watch their submissive with others. This is another area that you need to discuss before entering into a relationship with your dominant. *If you choose to participate in any sharing activities, please remember to always use safe sex.

There is a huge difference in having an occasional submissive fantasy and entering into a submissive lifestyle.

The submissive lifestyle can be very fulfilling if entered into with eyes wide open. Being informed of what may be expected of you is essential before committing to a dominant/submissive relationship.

Adrenalynn Halloween

Boots

Sticky

Spread

Stand

Domed

Fuck Yeah

Rimmed

Glisten

Sofa

Nylon

Let me walk in on this

Jerk It

Perky

Party

3 in the tub

At first I thought it was sweat but then the smell hit. It was definately semen! WHY THE FUCK did that happen?? A bit ashamed, I have not told anyone… until this blog!

Dreams are wonderful things. In dreams, you can have sex with actresses, porn stars, reality TV personalities, neighbors, coworkers, girls who ignored you, and even cartoon characters…

A wet dream (a.k.a. nocturnal emissions) is the erotic dream accompanied by uncontrolled ejaculation of semen from the penis during sleep. It is caused by sexual excitement from dreams, and/or by physical stimulation like rubbing against blankets, the bed or a full bladder. It is something that can be embarrassing and confusing to teen guys, but is completely normal.

When boys enter puberty a lot of hormonal changes occur. These changes will result in many, but not all boys experiencing episodes of spontaneous erections during sleep, during the day and wet dreams. They cannot be controlled and you cannot stop them from happening. If these episodes do occur there is no need to worry or feel guilty because they are part of normal sexual development. If you do have a wet dream, it just means your body is maturing sexually, which is a step towards becoming an adult.

Most boys experience wet dreams between the ages of 12 to 18. Generally boys have fewer wet dreams once they start masturbating or once puberty is over. Also if teenagers become sexually active, they will experience fewer or no longer have wet dreams.

Wet dreams are not just for adolescent males. While they are more prevalent among teens, older men and women can also experience these overnight orgasms. In fact, studies show that about 90% of men and around 37% of women have wet dreams on occasion. Some people have them more often than others, and some people enjoy the experience more than others.

Erotic dreams, including those that result in orgasm, happen whether we want them to or not. It is not a sign that you need more sex, or that you do not enjoy the sex you are having. We may dream or fantasize about situations and behaviors that we may or may not choose to act upon. Erotic dreams are perfectly normal and healthy, and the orgasms that often accompany them are simply other ways to enjoy our sexuality…even if it means having to do the laundry a little more often.

Men usually have wet dreams when they are not discharging their semen through ejaculation, either with intercourse or masturbation. If you are not having wet dreams, it is probably because you are discharging your ejaculate when you masturbate. Either way, this is not something to worry about.

So after reading some info and researching a little bit, I have determined that the cause of my ‘wet dream’ is due to not getting enough sexual discharging! Now I know there are those of you that will say, “all guys are gonna say that.” and while it is true most guys will make this statement because we are all horny bastards just out to get more tail, the fact is if you ARE getting some, you won’t have these episodes. Because you are releasing your build up pretty consistently!

On the other hand, if you are not having sex or not having it as often, you will have a build up and it is your body’s way of keeping that build up from becoming too much to ‘release’. Hence the wet dream. Even if you weren’t dreaming! Your body is keeping everything flowing correctly!

My body was doing it’s job! I HAD A WET DREAM!!!! I am not really ashamed to admit it. It happened. It will probably happen again! There is nothing wrong with it. Nothing to be ashamed of!

In order to keep myself from having these as often, I will need to start banging away again!! Any ladies wanna help my condition??? You know, for medical research!!!!

Here’s the pics!

Yessur

Lick

Soft

3

Heels

Ashlynn Brooke

Powershower

Bunnies

Cam

Sex

Floor Me

Blinfolded

Dora Venter

Please let this happen

Layed Out

Czech

Spread

Insert

Mind Fuck

BTW… I’m horny as shit!

Enjoy!

Ready

Wash My Dishes

Teabag

Floored

Pleasure in Black and White

Reversed

Beach Expose

Pinched

Coffee

Ping

From Behind

Waiting

Schoolgirl

Lips

Panties

Roped

Tits

Tanning

OH HELL YEAH

Sign Me Up

All In

After Drip

Clit Close

RT Time

Housekeep........

Fountain

Hello Kity

Perfect Pairs

Slut

Come here

3 blondes

Restroom

Beads

After watching a disappointing loss for my New York Giants last night and the storms that rolled through, I didn’t get very much sleep and I can already feel my ass dragging today! Speaking of storms…. has anyone ever went out in a storm and just banged away? I’m talking lightning, thunder, heavy wind and heavy rain kind of storm! With the obvious “danger” element taken into account, I think this would be highly erotic! The rain hitting both bodies. The lightning flashing briefly to show the glimmer of each other’s wet skin. The thunder rumbling enough to make both bodies shiver as you grab, pull, squeeze, kiss, taste, and explore. I’m excited just thinking about it. Is there anyone that has done this? What was it like?? Anyone WANT to do this??

I think the “fear” of being struck while fucking in a torrential downpour would make it even better. Especially at night! This may be one to add to my list of Fantasies that I would like to do! My “Bucket List o Fantasy” if you will! That’s a good idea for my travel! Make my list to share! So if I am sharing mine, you should share yours. Send it to me! H2oShy

I will work on MY list and get it posted soon to.

Until then, enjoy the pics below. I may be able to get a post in tomorrow morning before I leave. Blog ya from the road soon!

Bathe

NO WAY

2 Fer

T F ing

Tongue

Window

Purple

Pleather

Flash

Great Image

69ing

Long Tongue

Skiing?

Soap Job

Double Up

Mirrored

Sunset

Beachballs

Found

ATTENTION!

Adele Stephens

White Boots

Vest